<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>The One You’re Born Into and the One You Find by nothingeverlost</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27251650">The One You’re Born Into and the One You Find</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingeverlost/pseuds/nothingeverlost'>nothingeverlost</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Torture, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Minor Sirius Black/Remus Lupin, POV Sirius Black, Young Sirius Black</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:22:34</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,774</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27251650</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/nothingeverlost/pseuds/nothingeverlost</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Sirius runs away and learns something about home.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Andromeda Black Tonks/Ted Tonks, Sirius Black &amp; Andromeda Black Tonks, Sirius Black &amp; Euphemia Potter, Sirius Black &amp; Remus Lupin &amp; Peter Pettigrew &amp; James Potter</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The One You’re Born Into and the One You Find</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I thought this would be just a little thing about Sirius and Andromeda having a conversation but then it grew, as these things are wont to do.  Welcome to my version of 'Sirius ran away in sixth year.'</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s two days before Christmas when Sirius Black leaves Grimmauld Place for the last time. His first impulse is to go to the Potter home, but he can’t, not with his mother’s voice in his head, the threats and ugly things she’s said.  He can’t risk that she might follow through with her promises.  It’s not safe.  Besides, James would owl Peter and Remus, and he needs to keep them safe too.</p><p>Perhaps it would be best to take a room above the Three Broomsticks, but after a week of cold silence from his family he can’t take any more isolation.  There’s only one place he can think of to go.</p><p>“Sirius?”  Warm light floods the front stoop when the door opens.  In the doorway stands his cousin, the only person that might understand what it means to be a disinherited Black.</p><p>“You wouldn’t happen to have a sofa I could crash on for a day or two, would you ‘Dromeda?”  They’ve barely talked in years; the last time was the summer before Fifth year when they both happened to be at Diagon Alley.  He’d been with his friends, his parents not wanting to be seen with their son who was buying a new Gryffindor uniform, ‘Dromda with her husband.  He’d been eight when she’d been struck off the family tree, but she would always be his favorite cousin.  His only cousin, now.</p><p>“Nonsense.  You’ll take the guest room.  I hope your silencing charms are up to par; our Nymphadora is an early riser.”  She holds the door open wide for him, enough so he can levitate his trunk into the house.  He’s not sure about accepting the room, though.</p><p>“Mother is going to be angry if she finds out you took me in.  I really only need a day or two so I can figure things out.”  He needs a lot more than a couple of days but he wasn’t about to ask for more.  It isn’t fair to her.</p><p>“Auntie has been angry with me for almost a decade now.  I’m a blood traitor, after all.  It doesn’t get much worse than marrying a muggle-born.  You’ll stay as long as you need.”  Andromeda doesn’t roll her eyes, she wouldn’t stoop to something so immature, but Sirius can almost see it anyway.  “Now shut the door behind you and come into the kitchen.  Ted is cleaning up but there’s plenty of leftovers and I’m sure you’re hungry.  Left before dinner, didn’t you?”</p><p>“During, but I didn’t eat anything.”  There had been company, people that made Sirius’s skin crawl.  His father had spoken so casually of his son joining The Cause, only debating if he should wait to finish his education or begin during the coming summer.  Perhaps, Orion Balck had speculated, his position in Gryffindor could end up being a blessing in disguise.  No one would expect a Death Eater under the scarlet and gold robes.</p><p>“You’re in luck.  Ted made his beef stew and it’s just the thing for a cold evening like this.”  She doesn’t say, but they both understand, that ‘cold’ refers to more than the weather.  “Ted, my love, we’ve company.”</p><p>“Cousin Sirius, what a treat.  Welcome.”  Sirius is surprised by the warm welcome and the following hug.  Perhaps he shouldn’t be; Ted Tonks is a muggle and a Hufflepuff, after all, but the only person he knows who is so open is James. </p><p>“Do you mind reheating some of your stew, Ted?  Siri hasn’t had dinner.  I’ll put Dora to bed.”</p><p>“Her hair is pink.”  Sirius has almost forgotten that there was a kid.  His family doesn’t acknowledge the marriage let alone the child, and kids aren’t really his thing.  He can’t remember the last time he’s seen a kid younger than eleven.  Andromeda’s daughter is a lot smaller than a first year.  Not as shy as they were either, as she climbs up on a chair to get a better look at the stranger in her house.</p><p>“Play?’  Sirius is pretty sure the tips of her hair darkened.  </p><p>“Nymphadora, this is your cousin Sirius.  You can play with him tomorrow but now it’s time for bed.”</p><p>“See-us.”  The little girl wrinkles up her nose as she tests out the name.  “See-e-us.”</p><p>“My friends call me Padfoot sometimes.”  It might be easier to say.  No one in his family considered easy names, it seemed.  Not ever his cousin.  Nymphadora, really?</p><p>“Padfoot play?”  She spreads her arms and jumps, leaving Sirius with no choice but to catch her.  She is a little thing, with less force than a bludger, but she squirms a lot.  </p><p>“Tomorrow,” Andromeda says firmly, helping to free Sirius from arms that seemed to be longer than they should be.  “I’ll be back down after storytime, Sirius.  Don’t worry about your trunk, I’ll take it up to your room.  Ted will show you where the drinks are.  There might even be a bit of firewhiskey to add to the butterbeer.”</p><p>His mother would be horrified to see him eating in the kitchen like a common person or a house elf.  The Tonks kitchen is a warm and comfortable room, though, and Sirius is glad to sit with Ted, who is keeping an eye on the cleaning charms.  They share a drink and Sirius empties a bowl of stew and accepts the second helping Ted gives him  It wasn’t like the food was bad at Grimmauld Place; it was the company that robbed him of his appetite.  He is too used to laughter and teasing and camaraderie as he eats with his mates at school, and out of practice choking down food under his mother’s sour expression and his father’s ranting.</p><p>“I’m sorry to spring this on you, Ted.”  He is halfway through his second bowl when he finally looks up at his companion.  He doesn’t know much about the man, other than the fact he was muggle-born, a Hufflepuff, and married to his cousin.</p><p>“Nonsense, you’re family.  It’s a rare treat for Andi to get to have family around.  You know what it’s like.”  Ted frowns.</p><p>“She’s lucky she got out when she did.”  Just this past summer the engagement between Cisssa and Malfoy had been announced.  The only good thing Sirius could say is that he wasn’t quite as disgusting as Bella’s husband.  The talk of pure blood had gotten worse at family dinners and words like ‘cleanse’ and ‘purify’ were tossed around more.  “They don’t bother you, do they?”</p><p>“Ignore us completely, which is probably for the best.  It’s not easy on Andi when we run into any of them in public, though.  We saw Narcissa when we were at Gringotts last and she wouldn’t even look at our Dora.  I don’t think Bellatrix has even seen her.”</p><p>“Best to keep it that way.  She’s gone mental.  More mental than she used to be.  And her husband…” Sirius bites his tongue to keep from saying more.  He didn’t need to talk about Rabistan LeStrange.  Didn’t need to think about him, or what he was capable of.  One time alone with the man had been one time too many; he still had bruises on his arm from their ‘conversation’ three days ago.  “If you’re lucky they’ll forget about you completely.”</p><p>“Your turn, Ted.  Dora’s tucked in and ready for her story.”  Sirius is almost done with his second bowl of stew when Andromeda comes down, turning off the water in the sink as the last of the dishes dry themselves.  She settles into the seat her husband had occupied moments ago.  “Do you want to talk about what happened?”</p><p>“What’s the point?  It’s over and I’m never going back.  I’ve probably been blasted off that damn tapestry already.”  It had been his mother’s last threat as he’d left as if the worst thing that could happen was being disowned by the family that hated not only him but everything he cared about.</p><p>“Walking away from family isn’t that easy.  I know.”  For a moment she looks lost in memories before shaking her head.</p><p>“Family doesn’t…”  Sirius clenches his hands around the edge of the table.  He doesn’t talk about the things that happened in his home, not even to James.  Andromeda would understand more than anyone else, but that doesn’t make it easier to speak.  “They’re not my family.  I have James and Remus and Peter.”</p><p>“You have me and Ted too.”  Andromeda reaches across the table and covers one of his hands with her own.  “It’s two more weeks until term starts.  You’ll stay here and we can take you to the train.”</p><p>“I wasn’t planning on staying that long.”  He hasn’t planned anything but thought perhaps he might be able to leave for school sooner.  Hogwarts would be safe.</p><p>“You’re staying.  It’s Christmas, Sirius.  And if you’re worried about earning your keep you don’t have to worry.  Dora will adore having a new friend and you can pay us back in imaginary tea parties.”</p><p>II</p><p>Exhausted, Sirius falls asleep almost the moment he turns off the light in the guest bedroom.  It doesn’t last; a few hours later he comes awake abruptly, gasping his way out of a dream.  He fumbles for his wand, casting a ‘Lumos’ as he sits up.  He needs to be sure he doesn’t fall asleep again, not while the dream slithers inside his mind.  </p><p>He barely noticed the bedroom when his cousin had escorted him up, beyond noting that his trunk was under the window.  Everything he owned was in his trunk, and he only had that much because he’d never unpacked it when he’d gotten home for winter hols.  He’d gone up, grabbed it and his broom, and had been heading for the front door before anyone could stop him.  There hadn’t been any time to get Freddie, his owl, from the family owlery.  He hoped his mother didn’t take out any of her anger on poor Freddie.</p><p>The room, now that he can focus better, is as different as it was possible to be from the bedroom he’d abandon hours ago.  Instead of grey walls and antique furniture that had been passed down for generations, the walls were painted a pale yellow and the bed was new.  The quilt he’d been sleeping under seemed handmade, a patchwork of mismatched colors that would never earn his mother’s approval.  On the wall across from the bed is a painting of the shore, waves gently lapping at the sand.  It reminds him of a trip he’d taken with the Potters the summer between fourth and fifth years; Remus had joined them as well, though Peter hadn’t been allowed to come.  It wasn’t home - the only home he knew being his dorm at Hogwarts - but it was a cheerful and cozy space.  </p><p>He hoped his presence didn’t make it an unsafe place.  While his mother had been the loudest with her threats it was harder to guess what recourse his father might take.  Or his father’s friends.  He would run again if he needed to.  Sirius resolved not to unpack his trunk in case any threats were made. If anyone in his family so much as sent an owl he’d be off.</p><p>It’s dark outside his bedroom window, enough that he can’t make out anything in the back garden.  The moon wasn’t much more than a sliver, which was good.  It would be two weeks until Remus would need him.   If he was still with Andromeda and Ted by then he could make an excuse for going back to school early.  Until then he would lie low and hope that his family decided he was no longer worth any of their time.</p><p>After an hour of trying to go back to sleep, Sirius transforms and curls up at the foot of the bed.  Sometimes it is easier to sleep for a few hours as Padfoot; he would just have to hope his cousin didn’t ask about the black fur.</p><p>II</p><p>Someone is trying to suffocate him.  His mouth is covered, his lungs straining for want of oxygen.  He can hear Bella’s laughter and see the cold steel of his mother’s eyes.  Behind her, Regulus looked ill.</p><p>“Ge-off,”  Sirius struggles to open his mouth, to take in a breath, and almost chokes on a piece of bacon.  He blinks and opens his eyes to find that he isn’t in Grimmauld Place.  He’s in Andromeda’s guest room, and he is chewing on a piece of bacon.</p><p>“Breakfast.”  Nymphadora’s hair is blue this morning and she is holding out a piece of bacon between two chubby fingers.  “Welcome.”</p><p>“Thank you?”  He can’t think of anything else to say.  Waking up to find a kid staring at him is odd, but it was a million times better than anything that had happened the day before.</p><p>“Dora, where are you?”  The door to the hallway is open; apparently the kid was old enough to open doors because Sirius had closed it the night before.  He can’t sleep when a door is open, it felt too vulnerable.  At home he locked the door, even knowing that wouldn’t really stop anyone.  At school he was grateful for the curtains around the bed.  Here the door was now open and Ted was coming in, shaking his head.  “Sorry about that, mate.  Did she wake you?”</p><p>“I’d rather be awake.”  Memories weren’t quite as bad as dreams.</p><p>“Breakfast is ready if you’d like to join us,  I promise you can eat at your own pace, and not worry about this little scamp trying to feed you more.  You’re lucky it was just bacon.  She might have decided you were thirsty.”  Ted grins, an easy expression that reminds him a little of James.  His best friend’s smile comes easily too.  Sirius wonders if Ted’s parents were also as wonderful as the Potters.</p><p>“I’ll be down in a minute.”  He’s only slept in his pants and waits until Ted had scooped up his daughter and taken her out of the room, closing the door behind him, before getting out of bed so he could dress.</p><p>Breakfast was as good as any meal he’d had at Hogwarts.  Ted, apparently, did all the cooking in the family.  His cousin had learned as much cooking as he had, which meant nothing at all.  Pureblood snobs were supposed to have house elves to tend to their needs, rather than actually learning anything practical.  Ted cooked the muggle way, and his scones were good enough that Sirius had three.  He eats some bacon too, as well as quiche.</p><p>His plan for the day is to hole up in the guest room.  It was Christmas Eve and he didn’t want to interfere with the holiday for his cousin’s family.  Christmas wasn’t a big deal anyway; he loves the traditions he shares with his friends before the holidays but generally spent the day itself being miserable.  Andromeda has other ideas.</p><p>Once breakfast is over and the dishes are put away she pulls out flour, butter, sugar, eggs, and a mass of sprinkles.  Sirius somehow finds himself rolling out dough and cutting out cookies, often with the ‘help’ of Dora.  Once the first batch cooled he is in charge of frosting while Dora added three times as many sprinkles as anyone would call normal.  Somehow there was frosting in his hair and he is certain that his fingers would be red and green for longer than they were the last time he’d ‘accidentally’ snuck dye into James’s shampoo, but it is the most fun he’s had on a Christmas Eve in years.  When he makes one of the frosted snowmen dance across the table Dora laughs and then viciously bites his head off.  It was then that Andromeda decides it is time for Dora’s nap.</p><p>While Andromeda is putting her daughter down for a nap Sirius takes the opportunity to escape.  No matter what they say Ted and Andromeda deserved to have at least part of the day to themselves, and he can use a walk.  When staying with his parents long walks were about the only thing that kept him sane.  The walls of his childhood home were oppressive on the best of days.  Dangerous on the worst.  His cousin’s house was nowhere near the old neighborhood where his parents live, but the moment he’s gone a few blocks from the house he realizes how exposed he is.  If anyone sees him it wouldn’t be hard to make the connection to the Tonks family.  On his own he doesn’t have anyone to watch his back and it would be easy enough for a couple of people to drag him home.  Would his father have any interest in forcing him home?  Making him bow and scrape, making him swear an oath of fidelity?</p><p>“I’m not going back there,” he swears to himself, walking faster.  He looks at each alley he passes, half expecting to see someone he should fear, half looking for a plan of escape.  All he would need was a moment out of sight; no one would know to look for Padfoot once he transformed.</p><p>“Sirius?”  At the sound of his name he turns, wand already raised and a disarming spell on his lips.  </p><p>“Thought that was you.”  Frank Longbottom looks curiously at his wand but shrugs.  “Don’t usually see you on this side of town, mate.  Enjoying your holiday?”</p><p>“It’s alright.  Just stopped by to see a friend,” he lies.  Fortunately, he has a lot of practice at lying.  Frank is a nice enough sort, a year ahead of him in school.  Rumor was he was all set for the Auror program after graduation.  That didn’t mean that Sirius was about to trust him completely.  He didn’t trust anyone completely except the Mauraders.</p><p>“Alice lives around the corner.  We had lunch with the family.  Her dad has to warm to me eventually, or at least that’s the hope.  Not so pleased about the half muggle status, that one.”</p><p>“Screw him,” Sirius growls with more force than he meant.  He is so tired of the hate against muggle-borns, half muggles, and his most hated word, ‘half breeds.’  His father was of the opinion that the only good werewolf was either a dead one or a vicious pet, and had talked at length during Tuesday night’s dinner about a need for more regulations to protect against monsters.  His father’s definition of a monster is very different from his own.</p><p>“It’s important to Alice.”  Frank was so mild-mannered it was sometimes a surprise that he was a Gryffindor.  Then again Pete was pretty affable too.  He’d seen Frank’s reaction, though, when a Slytherin was scaring a first-year Hufflepuff.  Frank hadn’t been mild-mannered then.  “He’s not a bad bloke, just set in his ways.  Not like, you know.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know.”  Not like his family or the loony bin they kept marrying into.  Still, he had no patience for any of it.  It didn’t matter if he’d never met Mr. Fortesque, he already didn’t like the man.</p><p>They walk a bit farther, not talking of anything important until they reached a row of muggle shops and Sirius mentions stopping to pick out some gifts.  </p><p>“A bit last minute, aren’t you Sirius?” Frank teases.</p><p>“Same way I get my essays done,” he says with a shrug.  The truth is he spent as much time plotting his gifts as he did some of his most elaborate pranks, and he’d gotten gifts for his fellow Marauders before school had even started.  Other than sending something to James’s parents they were the only gifts he had to worry about.  Even in better days his parents had not held with gifts for Christmas.  He’d be a prat if he didn’t at least have something under the tree for his cousins this year, though.  Fortunately he still had some muggle money from a trip to muggle London he and James had gone on during the summer.</p><p>He returns to Andromeda’s an hour later with a cookbook for Ted by a muggle named Julia Childs that the shopkeep had assured him anyone who liked cooking would enjoy and a stuffed dog for the sprog.  It was black and not unlike his own secret form, which amused him.  His cousin was harder, but when he’d walked past an antique shop he’d found a little painting of an owl.  It looked like the one Andromeda had when she was a girl; Sirius could remember visiting and seeing his cousin petting the bird, whispering to it softly.  Bella had rolled her eyes.  It was a muggle painting so it didn’t move, but Sirius thought Andromeda might at least appreciate the sentiment.</p><p>“Sirius Black what do you mean by vanishing for hours without even saying that you’re leaving?”  Andromeda is every inch a Black when she appears in the hall just moments after he enters the house.  Her jaw is firmly set, chin lifted at just the right angle to make it feel like she looked down her nose at him despite being half a head shorter.  For a moment he is reminded of her mother, and then his own.</p><p>Shite.</p><p>“I thought you could use some time without an intruder around.  Christmas Eve traditions and all that.”  It had started snowing as he’d walked back from the shops.  Sirius tries to distract himself by brushing the snow off one shoulder.  Regulus had given him the same look that Andromeda was giving him now, just a few days ago when he’d said the only right side of any fight was standing against everything the family stood for.</p><p>“Great.  Lovely.  So I guess if my sister’s friends had seen you and decided to hex you into the new year it wouldn’t have mattered to me because at least I had a nice afternoon away from my ungrateful little cousin?” She glares at him in a way he hadn’t seen since he’d been seven and had used the essay she’d left in the study to make paper airplanes that had magically flown themselves.</p><p>“I wouldn’t tell anyone you let me stay here.”  He’s had enough experience with Cruciatus to know that he would be able to keep at least that secret.</p><p>“You think that’s what concerns me?” she asks incredulously before her crossed arms fall to her side and she deflates.  “Merlin, they did a number on us, didn’t they?  Our family.  Toujours pur but jamais fidèle.  I was worried about you, Siri.  You haven’t told me what happened but I know enough the guess.  I’m not totally unaware of what’s happening with my sisters and their social circle.”</p><p>“I know how to take care of myself.”  For a moment he hears the shadow of another argument, weeks earlier with Remus.  They had been fighting about the full moon and returning to school early so they could be there for him.  He tells himself it’s not the same thing.</p><p>“Of course you do.  Another lesson we learned well.”  Andromeda takes a step forward and brushes the snow off his other shoulder.  “I know family is a pretty complicated word for both of us but you are my family Sirius.  I care what happens to you.”</p><p>“Does it ever get easier?”  He wants to ask if he would always hate them this much.  If he would always carry around the hard ball of anger that sometimes threatened to choke him.  Would he always feel the guilt in leaving Reggie behind, not even trying to stop him from becoming the son his father wanted?  Would he ever stop mourning the family he never had?  He has a hundred questions but doubts there are really any answers.</p><p>“I remember when I heard you’d been sorted into Griffindor.  Auntie was so angry.  There was talk of sending you to Durmstrang, but they decided against it because of the way it might look.  The first time I saw you that winter you were in Zonko’s with your mate James, and you were laughing.  I don’t know how you’d gotten permission to be there without your parents but you looked so happy.  I knew then that the sorting hat had changed something that couldn’t be changed back.  I think it’s already better.  It doesn’t go away, we can’t change where we came from, but it’s better than what could have been.”</p><p>“I remember that trip.  Mum thought the Potter connection could be useful.”  The Potters were purebloods, and rich, but in every other way as different from the Blacks as it was possible to be.  “You brought us ice creams after the joke shop.”</p><p>“I’m sorry I didn’t get to do that more often.”  </p><p>“Mum would have hated knowing we spent any time together.”  He’d missed his cousin, but there had always been an extra thrill knowing his mother would disapprove.  “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left without saying anything.”</p><p>“You’re wanted here, alright?”  They don’t hug, not in their family, but Sirus has learned it from his mates and Andromeda from her husband.  It is a quick hug, but heartfelt.  Afterwards Sirius drops his packages off under the tree and finds that on the mantle there was now a fourth stocking, one with his name on it.</p><p>II</p><p>Christmas is a quiet day, or as quiet as it can be when a three-year-old has a newly acquired broom that hovers a foot off the floor.  The stuffed dog he’s picked out, who somehow has been dubbed ‘Spot’ despite being solid black, has a place of honor on the broom and only falls off six times.  The snow from the night before has left a fresh powder on the ground, and the afternoon is spent building a snowman that briefly joins them in an animated game of tag thanks to some clever wand work from Andromeda.</p><p>To say it is the best Christmas Day he’s ever had isn’t saying a lot, considering what Christmas is like in his family.  It is more than a good Christmas, it is a good day.  When he watches Dora feed her stuffed dog invisible hot chocolate he can’t help wondering what it would have been to grow up in a family that saw children as something other than an obligation to continue the family line.</p><p>“Would you care for a cup of chocolate that’s not invisible?”  Andromeda asks once her daughter’s attention is drawn away from their ‘tea’ party.  Ted is giving her hippogriff rides.</p><p>“Yeah.”  He follows her into the kitchen, leaning against the counter while she melts a bar of Honeyduke’s finest into simmering milk.  Moony would approve.</p><p>“I remember getting my first broom.”  His hadn’t been a toy.  His parents didn’t believe in toys.</p><p>“If memory serves you were six, and the first thing you did was try to stand up on it.”  Andromeda laughs as she stirs the chocolate, adding vanilla and a pinch of salt.</p><p>“They locked it up for a month after that, until I could promise to be more respectful.”  He’d only learned to be more careful, waiting until he was out of view before practicing loops and dives and quidditch moves.  It had been his first taste of freedom.</p><p>“Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I hadn’t met Ted.  Would I have ever defied the family or would I just have accepted it as my lot?  But I never wondered about you, Sirius.  Worried, but never doubted that you were meant for something else.”</p><p>“You never would have stayed.  You’re too good for them.”</p><p>II</p><p>The letter comes during breakfast on boxing day.  Sirius is so focused on the red envelope that he doesn’t notice the owl at all.  He’s been expecting at least a letter for three days now, and his only thought is to snatch the letter and get up to his room before it explodes in his mother’s amplified and shrill voice.  No one else needs to hear the hate in her voice.</p><p>He is too slow, or the letter is faster than usual.  He’s barely taken it from the owl and stood from his chair when it begins to shake.  It grows in size, shaking and looking like a firework about to explode before it bursts open.</p><p>SIRIUS ORION BLACK YOU GREAT GIT WHERE THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU?</p><p>It takes Sirius a moment to realize that the shooting that fills the small kitchen is not his mother, but his best friend.</p><p>YOU HAVE NOT ANSWERED MY OWLS FOR THREE DAYS.  I EVEN TRIED FLOOING TO YOUR HOUSE BUT THAT CREEPY HOUSE ELF OF YOUR MOTHER’S ONLY SAID THAT HER MISTRESS HAD GOTTEN RID OF YOU.  I’M WORRIED PADFOOT.   MUM AND DAD ARE WORRIED.  RUMUS SENT ME AN OWL BECAUSE HE THOUGHT MAYBE WE SHOULD TRY GOING TO YOUR HOUSE TO SEE YOU.</p><p>“No.”  Sirius stares in horror at the envelope as if it can hear him.  Remus can’t go anywhere near Grimmauld Place.  He’s only let James come once and that was bad enough but at least James comes from a wizarding family almost as old as the Blacks.</p><p>RUMUS IS STRESSED ABOUT YOU AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE’S LIKE WHEN HE’S STRESSED.  IF WE DON’T HERE FROM YOU IN AN HOUR I AM SENDING HIM AN OWL BACK AND WE ARE GOING TO MAKE A PLAN.</p><p>A moment later the howler tears itself to pieces, the confetti burning like ash.  The only thing left was the echo in his ears.</p><p>“I can’t let Remus go to Grimmauld Place.”  He looks at Andromeda.  </p><p>“Bloody git.”  Dora waves a bit of pancake around on the end of her fork, apparently amused by the howler.  “Great bloody git.”</p><p>“Those are not words for little girls, my love.  They’re words for grown-ups who have to deal with problems.”  Ted reaches over and picks Dora up from her seat, balancing her on his knee and distracting her with a floating grape.  Sirius knows he should probably apologize, but all he can think about is Remus showing up at his parents’ door and them somehow seeing in an instant what it took him two years to figure out.</p><p>“I don’t think it’s a good idea for any of your friends, but at least if they’re looking for you it rules them out as anyone who knows where you are.  It might protect them in the long run.”  Andromeda stirs her tea carefully.  “Remus is the quieter lad, isn’t he?  The one with the nice manners.”</p><p>Sirius nods, afraid to open his mouth and say anything about Remus, afraid he might say too much and spill secrets that aren’t his to tell.  It has taken months to recover from the Snape Incident. All he knows is that he has to stop any of his friends, but Remus especially, from confronting his parents.  The things the Black Family would do if they knew they had a werewolf in their home were unspeakable.  “I need to borrow your floo.”</p><p>“The floo powder is on the mantle where the stockings were.  You’ll let me know if you’re not home for dinner, won’t you?”  Sirius nods his promise.</p><p>“Your friends are welcome to tea. We’re having bangers and mash,” Ted adds supportively as Sirius carries his dishes to the sink.</p><p>“Padfoot play?”  Dora asks as he leaves the kitchen.  He hopes she won’t be too upset that he’s ignored her request.</p><p>A minute later he is in the Potters’ library, startling Fleamont Potter from his post-breakfast nap.  A newspaper half covers his face but he pushes it away as he sits up.  “Sirius my lad, what a relief.  James will feel so much better when he sees you.  Last I checked he was pacing the front hall.”</p><p>“I’ll go find him.”  At least he hadn’t dashed off and done anything stupid; that was Sirius’s job.  He doesn’t have far to go far; after walking through the library door he is tackled and might have fallen if he wasn’t so used to the surprise attacks of James Potter.  This one involved a hug he couldn’t have escaped if he wanted to.  He doesn’t want to.</p><p>“If I wasn’t so happy to see you Padfoot I’d punch you and then lock you in a small dark room.  Where have you been?”  James’ hair was messier than usual, standing on end where he tugged on it when he was nervous or frustrated.  The fact that he was wearing shoes was alarming; when he was at home his feet were always bare, so he really was planning on going somewhere.  Sirius hates thinking about where that place might have been.</p><p>“I’m alright, Prongs.”  There is no person on the entire earth that he trusts more than James Potter.  His reluctance to mention his cousin was not out of worry.</p><p>“Not one peep yesterday from you.  Even first year you popped in to say Merry Christmas and last year you came for almost two hours after you got yourself kicked out of dinner.  I kept my mirror with me all day yesterday and nothing from you.  When I popped into your kitchen the house-elf said…”</p><p>“I left.”  He shrugs as if it doesn’t mean anything.</p><p>“What do you mean, you left?  Left the house on Christmas?  Can’t imagine that made your mum happy.”</p><p>“I left a couple of days ago, actually, and I don’t give a toss what my mother thinks.”  He looks down at his shoes, noticing that there was a scuff mark on the left one.  “I’m not going back there.”</p><p>“What did they do?”  His best friend’s voice sounds like fire.  Sirius knows that James would go to war against the whole Black family without a single hesitation if he thought that they had hurt Sirius.  It is the reason he keeps the worst stories to himself, to protect James.  Remus knows more, whispered confidences in the black of night when neither of them can sleep.  After all, Remus has his own monsters and knows something about enemies being bred into your blood.</p><p>“I’m not going to be one of them, and hate who they tell me to hate, and fight who they tell me to fight.”  Rudolphus and Bella have matching tattoos on their arm.  At first he’d thought they were a warped couple sort of thing, but then he’d seen the same mark on Narcissa’s finance, and the slithering edge of black ink on his father’s arm when his sleeve hitched up a little.</p><p>“Of course you’re not.”  James smiles a little, just for a moment, before the smile fades.  “Hold up, you said days ago.  Where have you been since you left?  Pete would have said if you’d been at his place and I know you haven’t seen Remus.  Please tell me you haven’t done anything naff like sleep on a bench or take a room at Three Broomsticks.”</p><p>“I need to lie low for a bit.  I am somewhere safe, I promise.”  His mother’s threats ring in his ear, promising that no one that dared offer him sanctuary would be safe.</p><p>“You’re safe here.”  James snakes a hand around his wrist, dragging him towards the back of the house.  “Mum,” he shouts.</p><p>“It’s not about my safety.”  When the kitchen proves empty James pulls him to the backdoor, through the snowy yard to the greenhouse that is always warm and humid no matter the weather.  In the center of the space is a pond where lotus float.  Euphemia Potter is kneeling beside her herb bed.</p><p>“Mum, Sirius showed up finally and he’s run away from home so he needs a place to stay.  He can have the room next to mine, right?  Dad can figure out how to handle the guardian stuff so you can sign his school papers and..”</p><p>“Prongs, stop.  I just came so you didn’t do anything stupid like go to Grimmauld Place.  I’m not staying.”  </p><p>“Don’t be stupid, Pads, of course you’re staying.  Right mum?”</p><p>“This is always your home, Sirius.”  She stands with a grace that his own mother would never be able to emulate, no matter how many centuries of ‘good breeding’ have gone into molding her.  Deep purple and gold robes flow around her.  Indoors she’s just as apt as her son to have bare feet, but in the garden she wears leather sandals.  “Monty and I have been worried about you, dear.  It’s good to see that you’re safe.”</p><p>“I’m sorry for making you worry.”  The last thing he wants to do is worry his friends or the Potters who are always so kind to him.  Without the Potters he wouldn’t know what a real family is supposed to look like, or how lacking his own family really was.</p><p>“A mother always worries about her children.”  When she touches his arm Sirius has to fight to remain stoic, torn between the wanting to break down and wanting to make a bitter comment that some mothers want nothing more than to eat their own young.</p><p>“See, Pads?  Mum said you’re staying.  Dad will agree and that’s everything sorted.  The family barrister can send papers to your…”</p><p>“No.”  If he lets himself listen to any more it will sound too much like a dream and not having it will hurt all the more.  “You’re not listening to me, Jamie.  I will see you in two weeks when we go back for term.  I need you to let Remus know that I’m safe and that he’s not to go to my parents’ house under any circumstances ever.  Let him know that I’ll be at school on Wednesday morning like I promised, okay?”</p><p>“Tell him yourself, Pads.  You haven’t forgotten how to write a letter in the last week have you?”  James stands between him and the door to the greenhouse, arms crossed and ready for a fight.<br/>“No, but I don’t have a way to send a letter.  I couldn’t bring Freddie with me when I left.”  Damn it, he misses his owl.  It is the least of his problems, and it’sjust a stupid owl that he ignores too often when he is at school, but when he is home visiting the owlery is often the only good part of his day.  No one in his family would deign to sit amoung the birds.</p><p>“Shit, I’m sorry.”  James sighs.  “I’ll write Remus, okay?  Or you write to him and use one of our owls.  He’s sent me three letters since yesterday and seeing the scrawl you call penmanship would probably do him good.”</p><p>“I’ll write to him before I go, alright?”</p><p>“Sure, as long as you mean that you’re going to go get your trunk so you can bring it back here.  I was thinking we could transform the closet between our rooms into a lounge, maybe with a foosball table or something.  Mum’s brill at things like that.”</p><p>“Damn it, Prongs, you’re not listening to me.”</p><p>“I’m listening, I’m just ignoring you being a dense pratt. This is your home.”</p><p>“My mother…”</p><p>“Your mother is a miserable bitch and you’re well rid of her.  You can share my mum with me, she always wanted more kids and she and dad both love you.”  James speaks with the confidence of someone who has always been certain of his place.  </p><p>“You don’t understand, James.  The things she would do if she found out you’d taken me in.  The things she might set in motion.  My family is full of fucking Death Eaters.  My cousin...”  But he doesn’t want to think about Bella and what she could do.  What she’d hinted that she’d already done, the snake of her tattoo slithering around her wrist.  He knew what she could do to someone she wanted as an ally, the echo of pain still in his bones as she tried to make him agree.  The war was coming so much quicker than he’d realized.  He would protect the people he cared about as long as he could.</p><p>“We keep each other safe, just like we’ve always done, Pads.”</p><p>“This isn’t trying to get out of detention when a prank goes wrong.  I’m not going to risk any of my family coming after the people I care about.”  He could still see, too clearly, the look in Moony’s eyes when he realized how close he’d come to attacking Snape on a full moon.  If anything had happens Remus would be the one to suffer and it would have been his fault.  He couldn’t let it be his fault again.</p><p>“So instead I’m supposed to just stand by and hope you’re okay?  Do you know what it would do to me if anything happened to you?”  James tugs on his hair.</p><p>“I’ll see you in two weeks, alright?”</p><p>“Padfoot…”</p><p>“It’s better if you don’t know where I am.”  He’s been seventeen for almost two months, but won’t take his apparating test until spring like any other student.  That doesn’t stop him from disapparating, but it did mean that he is a block away from Andromeda’s, instead of in her backyard, when he reappeared.  It takes him a moment to get his bearings and to find his way to the house.  By the time he does he’s shaking, and collapses on the back porch, using the last of his energy to change into Padfoot.  </p><p>II</p><p>“Puppy.”  He wakes to find Dora stroking his fur enthusiastically, Ted and Andromeda watching with varying looks of caution and amusement.  Because it seems like the simplest option he spends an hour fetching sticks and racing through the snow, decimating the snowman they had made the day before and chomping on snowballs.  When a cat crosses the back fence he doesn’t resist the urge to chase it; James has often remarked that if they ever came across McGonagall in her animagi form there would be some serious explaining to do.  Chasing professors was not a good idea even if they were a cat at the time.</p><p>When it starts to get dark outside Ted tries to lure him in with the promise of something to eat, but he refuses.  As tempting as it is to see if they would talk about him in his absence, it wasn’t fair and Andromeda would worry if he wasn’t back for tea.  He’d promised, after all.  Sirius slinks around the corner, waiting until he is sure everyone is inside the house before turning back.  His jeans are soaked and his mouth is freezing from the snow he’s eaten, but an hour of running around and a nap have done him some good.  He is able to walk into the house without feeling like the world is completely falling apart.</p><p>“Anyone with you?” Ted asks, poking his head out of the kitchen.  Sirius shakes his head.</p><p>“Padfoot play?”  Dora asks, her hair the same black color as his own.  She’d changed it when they were playing outside, ironically wanting to match the dog.  </p><p>“It’s bathtime, remember?  And I’m sure Sirius is wanting a hot shower, considering the look of him.”  Andromeda gives him the same speculative look she’d given a dog an hour ago until she was convinced that her daughter was safe playing with the mutt.  “Your friend’s alright?”</p><p>“I think he’s mad at me.”  James wasn’t mad, not really, but it was easier than saying that he was hurt by the secrets he wouldn’t share.  He and James shared almost everything.  “I’m going to go take that shower now.”</p><p>“I’ll let Ted know to start a kettle; you look like you could use some warming up from the inside too.”</p><p>II</p><p>The next morning he lets himself sleep in, and is still in his pajamas just before noon, making himself a bacon sandwich with leftovers from the breakfast he’d skipped.  He’s just taken his first bite when someone knocks on the front door and Ted calls for him.</p><p>“See?  I told you this was the logical place.”  When Ted steps back Sirius can see a grinning James Potter in the doorway, a Gryffindor scarf wrapped around his neck.  Beside him is Remus, not dressed nearly warm enough for the day.  Crowded on the back of the porch is Peter.</p><p>“Yes, but ‘Padfoot’ and ‘logical’ aren’t usually things we say together.”  Moony has a crease line between his eyebrows, looking Sirius over.  He tries to smile, but it is a small one, his attempt at a joke falling flat.  Sirius can almost feel the worry vibrating from him.  </p><p>“If Sirius is trying to lay low maybe we shouldn’t be standing out here where anyone can see us?”  From the way James steps forward suddenly it was clear that Pete had given him a friendly shove.  Ted is smart enough to take a couple of steps backward, clearing the way for three-fourths of the Marauders to invade his home.</p><p>Sirius says the only thing that came to mind.  “What the fuck?”</p><p>“I sent an owl to Remus.  He agrees you’re being stupid.”  James aims a drying spell at his feet.</p><p>“That’s not what I said, Prong. Don’t put words in my mouth.”  The gloves Remus takes off look new, probably a Christmas gift from his parents.  They were practical souls, and most of Moony’s gifts from them are the sort of things that Sirius takes for granted.  He knows that new quills and gloves are not so easy to come by in the Lupin household, though.  “I said I didn’t like the idea of you without anyone to watch your back.”</p><p>“I agreed with James about you being a git.”  Peter grins.  Ted closes the door behind him.</p><p>“Gee, thanks Pete.”</p><p>“You’re Ted, right?  Nice to meet you.  I’m James and I’m just here to relieve you of this annoying houseguest of yours.  His bedroom is all ready for him.”  James shakes Ted’s hand when it’s offered.</p><p>“Sorry about the invasion, Mr. Tonks, only Sirius does seem to need reminding about a promise he made.  We’ll be out of your hair once we knock some sense into him.” Remus looks at him very carefully, and Sirius can almost read his mind.  He can see the bonfire they’d had the first summer they’d been together, could hear the vow they’d made to always have each other’s backs.  Marauders forever.</p><p>“Stay as long as you like, boys.  I have some biscuits in the oven that will be ready in a little while, so when you’re ready come down for a snack,” Ted offers as he shakes hands with Remus and then Peter.</p><p>“Fresh baked biscuits?  Maybe Padfoot does know what he’s on about, staying here.”  Peter licked his lips.  He’d been the one, second year, to figure out the secret of the ticklish pear that lead into the kitchens.  The house elves loved him.</p><p>“I’ll take this lot upstairs so we don’t bother you.”  He gives his friends a pointed look and heads up the stairs, trying not to think about the fact that the bedroom he’d been using suddenly feels so much more like home when all four of them are crowded inside.  Remus is the one to cast a silencing charm, meaning he doesn’t have to keep his voice down when he speaks.  “Damn it, Prongs, what part of our conversation yesterday didn’t you understand?”</p><p>“The part where you seemed to suddenly forget the last six years and think you’re a lone wolf like that prat first year who wouldn’t talk to anyone for the first week of school.  No offense meant, Remus.”</p><p>“None taken,” Remus shrugs, sitting down on the trunk under the window.  Peter has already sprawled out on the bed.  James was pacing, like he often did when he was plotting a prank or coming up with wild schemes to get Evans to date him.</p><p>“It’s not the same.”  He’d been terrified that first week after the hat had sorted him into what he’d considered the wrong house.  His mother had sent him three howlers the first two days, and he knew that Dumbledore had gotten a howler as well.  He’d never asked McGonagall if she’d gotten one; it was too embarrassing to even contemplate.  He hadn’t wanted to get to know the boys he shared a room with, not when he was going to be moved in a matter of days.  Surely someone would realize that he couldn’t be a Griffindor.  Blacks were always in Slytherin.</p><p>He’d been scared of his family then, and he was scared of his family now.  Maybe it wasn’t so different, but the threat of his family was worse than it had been six years ago, or maybe he was finally understanding just what the Black name meant.  “It‘s not safe.”</p><p>“Neither was spending two years learning to be an animagus so you could spend full moons chasing after a werewolf.”  Remus rubs a scar on his forearm that Sirius swears is fading a little every year.  The fact that he hadn’t gotten a new scar in over a year is a victory that Sirius privately celebrated every morning after a moon.</p><p>“That’s different.”</p><p>“How?”  Remus stares at him until he has to look away.</p><p>“So Wormy, how long do you think we can hang around the Tonks place before they kick us all out?”  James plonks down on the bed.</p><p>“Well they’ve already put up with Padfoot for four or five days so their tolerance is pretty high.  Might be able to stretch it a couple of days.  A week at least if we find some chores to help with.  Longer if everyone remembers to shower.”  Peter glances at the door.  “You think those biscuits are ready?”</p><p>“We could go check and let the man of the house know we’ll be crashing here for a bit.”  James heads for the door, breaking the silencing charm as he opens it.  Peter is swift to follow.</p><p>“Moony.”  Sirius looks at him, hoping that he at least will understand.  Moony, he thinks, understands what’s coming with the war more than the rest of the group.  He knows at least some of what a family like the Blacks can do.</p><p>“We’re not leaving you alone, Sirius, no matter the risk.  You’re ours.”  Remus squeezes his hand as they stand in the doorway.  “It’s going to be okay, Pads.  We’ll figure this out the way we always do.  Together.”</p><p>Sirius thinks maybe he’d like to stand in the doorway for a while, the warmth of Moony’s hand in his, but everyone else is downstairs and he still has to find a way to convince them all to go home.  </p><p>II</p><p> </p><p>“Puppy?”  After she is done with her biscuit Dora slides off her chair and runs to the kitchen door.</p><p>“We can look, love.”  Ted follows her, opening the door to reveal an empty back porch.</p><p>“No puppy,” Dora sighs, her lower lip sticking out.  “Want puppy.”</p><p>“There was a stray dog in the yard yesterday.  Dora quite enjoyed playing with him,” Andromeda explains to the boys at the table.  “It was quite funny, actually.  Sirius got her a stuffed animal for Christmas and the dog that showed up looked almost the same.”</p><p>“Black dogs are common enough,” Sirius comments, shooting a look across the table at James.</p><p>“Probably just a mutt,” Peter supplies helpfully, wincing when Sirius kicks him under the table.</p><p>“He’s probably in the doghouse now,” Remus arches one eyebrow as he looked sideways at Sirius.  “He might not be very good at listening.”</p><p>“I hope he has a good home.  He seemed to be such a nice dog.”  Ted lures his daughter back to the table with another biscuit.  She decides that Remus’s lap is where she wants to sit while eating it, and tugs at his sleeve until he picks her up.</p><p>“I’m sure he’s found a very nice home.  Most dogs are clever enough to go where they know they’re loved.”  James is smiling, most people might think he is making an idle comment but Sirius knows that look in his eyes.  He was not playing fair.</p><p>“Maybe he’s not looking for a home right now, but is wandering for a bit.”  Sirius looks across the table at James pointedly.</p><p>“He looked too well fed to be homeless, and despite the lack of collar he certainly wasn’t a matt.  He had good pedigree, you could tell that by looking.”  Andromeda, of course, has no idea of the second conversation that is happening right in front of her.  Her comment is enough to makes James choke on his biscuit, though.</p><p>“He had pedigree, Sirius.”</p><p>“Sod off, Prongs.”  He was going to give away at least one of their secrets if he wasn’t careful.  Andromeda is clever, and while she’d been out of the family for years she’d been raised on subterfuge and lies.</p><p>“Prongs,” Dora repeats.  Sirius is just glad that’s the part she has decided to mimic.</p><p>“We call him that because his head is pointed,” Sirius grouces.  “Not much room for a brain up there.</p><p>“I got just as many OWLS as you did, you berk,” James fired back.  It had been a matter of great amusement, the year before, that their score on their OWLS had been exactly the same.  Peter had nearly tied them, but was short by one O.  Remus had beat them all, of course, practically acing his exams.  Only his potions score kept him from being perfect.</p><p>“I was having an off day.”  He can’t keep from grinning, for a moment forgetting everything else as he slips into the familiar patter of fake insults.  Almost two weeks without his friends has been a lonely experience.</p><p>“I swear I can’t take you two anywhere.”  Remus rolls his eyes, breaking off a bit of his biscuit for the little girl on his lap.  She seems enthralled with him, her dark hair lightening into an auburn.  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Tonks, I’d say that they’re not always this bad but my mum taught me not to lie.”</p><p>“It’s Andromeda, please, and it’s good to see that Sirius has such support.”</p><p>“Whether he wants it or not.”  James leans back in his chair and looks at the back door that leads to the yard.  Sirius doesn’t like the look in his eye; his best mate is plotting something.  “Speaking of, you don’t mind if we borrow a bit of your yard, do you?  My parents have a tent we could borrow, don’t take up much space.  We wouldn’t want to impose, and we can manage all our own food.”</p><p>“You’re not staying here.”  For effect Sirius throws half of his biscuit at James’s head.</p><p>“Good, then you’ve decided to come home with me.”  James calmly catches the treat and pops it in his mouth.</p><p>“James.”</p><p>“If you think this is the safest place of you then it’s safe enough for all of us,” Remus points out calmly.  Sirius bites his lip hard enough to draw blood.  He can’t argue the point without making it sound like he’s willing to put his cousin’s family in danger.  He looks over at Andromeda, willing her to say something to derail the current conversation.</p><p>“I think a camp out in the backyard sounds like fun.”  Sirius stares at her in shock.  Damn it, that wasn’t what he was expecting.</p><p>II</p><p>“I’m sure they’re hoping you’ll join them.”  Sirius looks away from the window, pretending he hasn’t been staring at the shadows around the campfire in the backyard.  It’s dark enough that he can’t see much of their faces, but his mates are all sitting outside the tent and drinking bottles of butterbeer.</p><p>“They should be at home.”  Remus actually enjoys spending time with his parents, and Peter seems happy enough to go home for the hols.  James has the best parents it’s possible to have.</p><p>“They don’t seem to agree with you.”  Andromeda sits on the edge of his trunk, her leg not quite touching his.  “Ted wanted to come with me when I told mum and dad about being engaged.  I wouldn’t let him, couldn’t trust that they wouldn’t lash out at him.”</p><p>“So you get it.”  Their family is capable of a great measure of cruelty.</p><p>“I understand the fear and the desire to protect.  I also know that the first place I went after I told them was to Ted’s flat and I didn’t leave for three days straight.  I couldn’t bear to have him out of my sight.  The first time I saw my sisters and they walked past me as if I didn’t exist he was the one that was holding my hand.  When the only family member at my wedding was Uncle Alphard Ted promised that he would be my family until the day he died.”</p><p>“They’ve been my family since my first year at Hogwarts.”  James was the first person to make him laugh, nine days into first term.  Peter had snuck him food when the idea of going to dinner and facing a whole table of Slytherins whispering about him had been too much to handle.  And Remus, who he’d judged as quiet and odd had hexed his cousin when she’d made a cruel comment in the hall.  Since then they’d proven themselves a thousand times, while his blood family had only been belittling and hateful.  “That’s why I have to protect them.”</p><p>“It seems like they have the same idea regarding you.”  Andromeda looks out the window where the fire seems to be dwindling.  The tent flap is open, a light burning inside.  Last summer they’d taken the tent to the Quidditch World Cup.  It had been brilliant.  He and his friends had slept in bunk beds in one room while James’s parents had the second bedroom.  Euphemia had painted mehndi designs on their hands that swirled in gold and green, proud that India had made it to the finals.  Even Fleamont, who was secretly rooting for England, wore mehndi on his hands.  “Something’s coming, Siri, and I know that’s frightening and it’s going to get bad.  But I also know that turning our backs on everything good in our lives is exactly what the Black family would like to see.  Your mother wants you to think you’re alone.  To think that the only option you have is to be one of them.”</p><p>“I’ll never be one of them,” he swears fiercely.  </p><p>“Of course you won’t.”  Andromeda is full of surprises today; she kisses him on the forehead the same way he’s seen her kiss her daughter at bedtime, then gestures to the door.  “You’re welcome here anytime you want, Sirius, but I think there’s somewhere else you’re supposed to be right now.”</p><p>“Yeah.”  He’s not sure if this feeling of worry in his belly will ever leave him, or how long he’ll look over his shoulder for a member of his family.  But maybe he can protect the people that matter better by being with them.</p><p>Tomorrow he’ll worry about his trunk.  For now he heads down the stairs and out of the house to find that the fire has been dowsed with snow but the tent flap is still open.  He closes it behind him, following the sound of talking to the same bedroom he’s used before.  </p><p>“It’s about time.”  James is on the top of one bunk, the bed beneath him empty but made up with blankets and a pillow.</p><p>“We saved you some chocolate.”  Remus has the other bottom bunk; he’s never been fond of heights, not even something as mild as a top bunk.  Flying classes first year had been miserable for him.  He points to the chocolate frog on the pillow next to a bottle of butterbeer.</p><p>“My feet are freezing.”  Peter is pointing helplessly at his feet with his wand, but he’s never been very good at warming charms.</p><p>“That’s what happens when you have a campout in the snow.”  Sirius finds warming charms easy, probably because he’s used them on Remus often enough.  He’s always cold the morning after a moon.  He helps out his friend, who grins down at him.</p><p>“Does this mean you’re done being a stubborn git?” James asks, hanging over the edge of the bed, his hair even more wild then usual thanks to the assist from gravity.</p><p>“It means I’ve accepted my doomed future of having to share a bathroom with you for all eternity, knowing you steal my shampoo and shed hair all over the place.”  He catches the chocolate frog before it can hop away, viciously biting off a back leg.  </p><p>“Good, because the kidnapping plan had a few snags in it and this is so much easier.  Mum said she’d make a cake to celebrate and anything you want for dinner.  Dad says not to worry about anything, he’s already talked to Dumbledore about the change in address.  This is going to be brill.”  James’ excitement was infectious, and despite his worry Sirius couldn’t help grinning back.  No one had ever been excited to have him come home before.</p><p>James falls asleep as quickly as he does everything else, and within minutes there’s a soft snoring coming from above him.  Peter had fallen asleep almost the moment his feet warmed up.  Sirius rarely found sleep easy unless he’d completely physically exhausted himself first.  He’s just about to contemplate turning into Padfoot, which sometimes helps, when there’s a whisper from his left side.</p><p>“I’m glad you don’t have to go back there, Pads.  I’ve always dreaded holidays knowing you had a home like that.”  Remus speaks softly but Sirius can hear the concern in his voice.</p><p>“It hasn’t been home for a long time. Maybe it never was.”  He’s never been wanted by his parents, not in the way Euphemia and Monty so desperately wanted a son.  He was an asset, like a land holding or the contents of the family vault, only with less value.  “But it’s over now.  I’m never going to see my family again.”</p><p>“You see your family every day, Pads.  We’re right here.”</p><p>“Yeah, you are.”  It didn’t matter if it was a tent, or a dorm room, or the guest room at the Potters that was secretly being redecorated to welcome him.  It didn’t matter if the blood in their veins wasn’t the same.  He had his family and his home, and hadn’t lost any of it when he’d walked away from Grimmauld Place.  “G’night Moony.”</p><p>“Night Padfoot.  Sweet dreams.”</p><p>Sirius doesn’t remember his dreams the next day, but he wakes up feeling rested and more relaxed than he’s felt in months.</p><p>“Your cousin has invited us all for breakfast before we go home.”  James is already dressed and using a charm to clean his glasses.</p><p>“Good, I’m famished.”  He dresses quickly, joining his friends as they dash across the yard, dodging snowballs that they levitate at each other.  The kitchen smells like cinnamon and chocolate, and as they eat breakfast they make plans to come back for Sunday dinner.  His mother can’t forbid him from spending time with his cousin now, and he’d like to get to know Ted better too.</p><p>Monty and Euphemia are waiting for them when they get home, welcoming him with hugs and a meal comprised of all his favorite foods.  Remus and Peter stay for the first couple of days, the four of them taking shifts to make sure nothing happens.  Other than a howler from his mother all is silent on the Black front.  He almost doesn’t mind the howler because Freddie’s the one that delivers it and he knows enough to stay.  James is with his mum in the greenhouse and doesn’t hear it.  Monty’s there, though, and it’s the first time Sirius has heard him swear.  </p><p>“They’re just words, son,” he says when the howler explodes.  Sirius knows it’s not true, it’s more than that, but the hate is tempered by being called ‘son’ by someone who means it.</p><p>“Yeah.”  He takes Freddie to the owlery to get settled and joins James and his mum in the greenhouse where they’re transplanting a bloodspot into a larger pot.  </p><p>“Just in time, my dear.  Do you mind holding a few of these leaves out of the way?  They are too tender to use a freezing charm on them.”  James has dug the hole and Euphemia has the roots supported.  Between the three of them they get it settled into the new pot, the dirt anchoring it in place.  Pleased, Euphemia steps back to admire their work.  “Just right.”</p><p>“Just where it belongs,” James says, but he’s not looking at the plant.  Sirius rolls his eyes and sticks out his tongue, but he can’t disagree.  He didn't run away from home, he ran towards it.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>